


Hammersley's Rules for Dating

by princess_smudge



Category: Sea Patrol (TV)
Genre: Gen, They need some bloody rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 22:10:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18558877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_smudge/pseuds/princess_smudge
Summary: Seems like somewhere along the way, they needed to write a rulebook.





	Hammersley's Rules for Dating

1\. Is he involved in a terrorist plot to poison half of Australia? If so, avoid.

2\. Is  _she_ involved in a terrorist plot to poison half of Australia? If so, avoid.

3\. Do your dates often involve cover fire and a desperate dash for safety? If so, avoid.

4\. Does she go on holidays with her male friend you've never met, and grow upset when you call? If so, avoid.

5\. Are you in the lair of a literal axe murderer? Yeah, probably next not to get too attached there.

6\. Does she pick on you in front of your crew? Avoid!

7\. Does it seem as though he's part of a creepy eco cult? Run away from that one!

8\. Does he put material things *coughboatscough* before your relationship? You'd better believe you should have avoided that one!

8b. And he says he's never thought about kids?

8c. I mean, it's not like this is a new relationship? You've known him for nearly ten years!

8d. And  _coffee_?! Really?

9\. Do you already have a wife?! A wife that has given up everything for you no less? Hmm... then maybe you shouldn't be pashing strangers in a jungle. Just as a non specific example. Avoid!

10\. Do you work with them? Come on! Don't screw the crew!

11\. Does it seem possible she could be a potential lesbian only using you to frame you for her husband's murder? Do I even need to say avoid?

12\. Is she an ex who lied to you about having your child twenty years ago? Don't go there again! Or at least wear protection so this whole thing doesn't repeat itself!

13\. Does he disappear on you, only to demand silence and secrecy when you find out where he is? Man-baby! Avoid!

14\. Are the  _Hammersley_ crew still going to fall into all of these potholes? You betcha!


End file.
